Recommended First Step · Free · Private
Before you plan, you need
to know what you value.
A guided exercise to help you explore what matters most — before building an advance directive or having a goals-of-care conversation. Takes about 15 minutes.
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My Values — What Matters Most to Me
GentleHorizon · gentlehorizon.polsia.app · Notes stored privately on your device
Why values clarification matters
Advance directives are documents. But the decisions inside them — who speaks for you, what treatments you want, when enough is enough — those come from your values. Most people arrive at an advance directive without ever asking themselves the questions that should answer it.
This worksheet is different. It's not a form. It's a guided exploration of what actually matters to you: what makes life feel worth living, how you think about independence and control, what you believe about comfort and pain, what you want to leave behind.
Your notes are saved automatically to your browser. Nothing is ever sent to a server.
Values clarification is the clinically recommended first step before any advance care planning conversation, endorsed by the American Academy of Hospice and Palliative Medicine (AAHPM) and The Conversation Project. Patients who complete values exercises produce better advance directives and have more productive goals-of-care conversations.
Section 1
Quality of Life
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What makes a good day for you? What activities, relationships, or experiences make your life feel rich and meaningful?
Think about ordinary days, not special occasions. What would you miss most if you couldn't do it?
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What abilities or capacities do you consider essential to your sense of self? What would feel most devastating to lose?
Physical function, mental clarity, creative expression, connection — different things matter to different people.
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Is there a condition or level of functioning that you would find unacceptable — a line you would not want to live beyond?
There is no right answer. This question is about your personal threshold, which is entirely yours to define.
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Section 2
Independence & Control
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How important is it to you to make your own healthcare decisions? How do you feel about delegating those decisions to someone else?
Some people feel strongly about staying in control of decisions. Others feel relieved to trust someone they love. Both are valid.
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If you needed help with daily tasks — bathing, dressing, eating — how would you feel about that? Who would you want to provide that care, and where?
Preferences about dependence and place of care are deeply personal. Many people have strong feelings they've never articulated.
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Who do you most trust to make decisions for you if you couldn't speak for yourself? What would you want them to prioritize?
This is the question an advance directive legally answers. Knowing your answer here shapes everything else in the document.
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Section 3
Comfort & Pain
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If you were seriously ill with no reasonable chance of recovery, would you want treatment focused on extending life — or on comfort and quality of the remaining time?
This is the hardest question in advance care planning. It's also the most important one. "It depends" is a real and honest answer.
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How do you think about pain management? Would you want aggressive pain relief even if it might shorten life? What matters most — comfort, alertness, or something else?
Modern palliative care can often manage pain without sacrificing alertness. Still, people have different values about the tradeoff.
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Where would you most want to be if you were dying — home, a hospice facility, a hospital, or somewhere else? What would make that possible or impossible?
Place of death matters deeply to most people. It often goes unasked until it's too late to honor.
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Section 4
Relationships & Legacy
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What do you most want your family to remember about you — who you were, what you stood for, what you loved?
Legacy is a values question as much as a practical one. What you say here often reveals what you hold most dear.
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Is there anything you feel unfinished about — relationships to repair, things to say, experiences to have? What would "being ready" look like to you?
This question isn't about giving up. It's about what completeness means to you.
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How much do the needs and preferences of your family weigh on your decisions about care? Where is the line between honoring their wishes and honoring your own?
Many people struggle with this tension. There's no universally right balance — but naming where you stand helps.
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Section 5
Spiritual & Personal Beliefs
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Do religious, spiritual, or cultural traditions shape how you think about illness, suffering, or death? How should these beliefs be honored in your care?
This can include religious faith, philosophical frameworks, cultural practices, or personal beliefs. It can also mean the absence of any of these.
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What brings you peace during difficult times? What do you need around you — people, rituals, environment, music, silence?
This is practical as much as spiritual. Knowing what comforts you helps your care team and your family show up in the right way.
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Is there anything else about who you are — your history, your fears, your hopes — that you'd want your care team to know? Something that would help them treat you as a whole person?
Clinicians rarely have time to ask this. Write it here, and take it to your next appointment.
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✨ Your Values Summary
Based on your reflections, here's what seems to matter most to you. Use this card to guide a conversation with your family, healthcare proxy, or care team.
Complete the sections above and your values summary will appear here automatically.